Drunk or Sober?
by TeenageLust
Summary: A Drunken Chappy Loving Midget And A Stubborn OrangeHaired Teenager. Inset A Pair Of Bunny Ears Headband And A Thousand Angry Sakura Petals. Let Us See How This One Unfolds. [[IchiRuki]] reviews won't be so bad would it?


**Disclaimer: **He does and he always will. Not unless I marry one of David Beckham's sons and eventually demand Tite Kubo to surrender Bleach to me.

**Warnings: **OOC

**Author's Note: **I'm spreading too much one-shots? no! this is just my third one! hmm.. anyhows, enjoy the story,, weee!

**

* * *

Drunk or Sober?**

An orange-haired teenager carried a drunken midget as they walked through the night. Fortunate enough, his sisters was on a sleepover and the old-geezer was somewhere, he didn't care. The domicile was empty considering nobody's home other than the two of them.

He had a dreadful feeling about this party but perverted Keigo persisted and _not-so-innocent_ Rukia was enchanted by this party things that human teenagers seem to enjoy a lot.

Sure enough, Keigo spiked the punch and he was too late to stop Rukia from drinking considering she's already had more than 10 cups. So now, all he could do was carry the drunken midget and wait until she wakes up. Unfortunately, he is oblivious.

Rukia's eyes went wide in amusement when she saw a pair of bunny ears headband on the counter. She swiped it away with a malevolent plot going on her drunken psyche. Possibly her brain wasn't so drunk after-all.

Ichigo carried her into his sister's room still oblivious about the fact that she has a sinister plot planted at the back of her mind. Ichigo slipped her body in the bed when a suddenly she curled her legs on Ichigo's hips so she would be able to execute her cute little plan.

Ichigo's eyes widened within realization and tried to break free. He pushed Rukia to the bed so he could pull himself out of her grasp. He struggled with her legs as she tried to put on the headband at Ichigo's head.

"Kurosaki. _What are you doing to my sister?_" A deep male voice spoke at the back. Ichigo then realized their current position and whoever would walk in to the room would actually think they are _doing_ something.

"Wha-? No! You got the wrong idea! We're not doing- you've got it wrong! Rukia! Tell your brother!!" He stuttered in his words. Yes, the great Ichigo Kurosaki stuttered, and apparently the said person was.. err.. passed out.

"Get off my sister. _Now."_ Byakuya's stoic façade didn't change but his eyes gave a hint of malevolence. He immediately got off the bed and gulped.

"Byakuya I swear, we weren't doing anything! I swear to _my own grave_, we weren't! you've got it wrong!"

Byakuya took out his sword and started to pace nearer Ichigo. Poor Ichigo plead for his dear life. It appears that Byakuya has taken his words literally.

"Then what exactly were _you_ doing? Taking advantage of my unconscious sister are we? Goodbye, Kurosaki. Scat-"

Byakuya felt a pair of small arms jump on his side.

"Brother! That's so nice of you to visit!"

She nonchalantly hugged her older brother not even bothering what was about to happen, to Ichigo however, it was a great relief.

"I missed you!" She dangled at his brother's arms and robes. Byakuya on the other hand, hasn't entirely recovered yet from the shock of Rukia's gestures.

With his sword still in his hand, Ichigo didn't dare let his guard down. For he knew too well that if Byakuya decides to still kill him he won't be able to have enough time to escape.

"Is this _boy_ harassing you?" Byakuya bluntly asked.

"What? Oh, yeah, he's always harassing me!" She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Moreover, to Ichigo, it was goodbye earth.

Byakuya looked down at his sister then back to Ichigo.

"Goodbye Kurosaki." He started to put his concentration on killing Ichigo again. This time, nothing stopped him.

"Why are you leaving so soon Nii-sama? You just arrived." Well, maybe something could stop him.

Rukia didn't earn a questioning look but a indication of confusion danced in Byakuya's eyes.

"I'm killing Kurosaki, Rukia. You said that this _boy_ harasses you. He doesn't have enough reason to live."

Rukia was startled at her brother's sentence. She situated a finger on her lips to think what her brother just said. She nodded in approval…

"Ahh… wait. What?!"

"You can't kill him Nii-sama! We're not even married yet!!"

She ran towards Ichigo and covered him in a protective hug of all her petite figure could muster. Ichigo was puzzled and surprised as of Byakuya, well, in an awful lot of unseen emotions.

"Married??" The two men said in unison.

"Yeah, and then we're gonna have kids then Ichigo's gonna have a job, and we're gonna live in a house, what are the other human things that you do Ichigo?"

Rukia's drunken state is definitely letting her defenses down, to Ichigo and Byakuya; she is giving them one hell of a headache. Just the marriage part cost them their mental psyche, but with the kids and family, well, that's definitely a whole new rank of mental illness.

Ichigo hasn't removed his gaze from Rukia.

Byakuya silently sighed in confusion and defeat.

"Fine, I will spare his life if that's what you wish."

Then he turned his gaze to Ichigo, which made Ichigo's blood curl.

"But, if I see my sister shed a single tear, I will slice you into a million pieces."

It sounded more like a threat than an agreement. In addition, Ichigo knows too well that Byakuya meant it and he wouldn't have any second thoughts before tearing his body into shreds.

"Yes, Byakuya" He stuttered. Rukia was still in his arms.

"Good bye" Byakuya bid goodbye to his sister and the stubborn teenager.

"Uh.. bye." Ichigo hissed while still clutching Rukia in his arms.

"Bye Nii-sama!!" drunken Rukia wobbly waved. Then Rukia menacingly laughed unsteadily in Ichigo's arms.

Ichigo hasn't had a full recovery yet from the shock. He still wasn't sure yet if Rukia meant it or not. At least it saved him. But in front of Byakuya? He is still in a shit load of trouble.

Rukia continued to giggle and Ichigo continued to watch her in pure disbelief and confusion. Rukia, to him, is definitely a bitch, but that didn't stop the grin that crept across his face.

"Hey, Rukia."

"Hmm?" She lazily answered him while he walked her to the bed.

"Did you mean.. uh.. the marriage thing..?" He tried as hard as he could not to stare in her blue-purple orbs. Maybe he likes drunken Rukia better than sober Rukia.

"Bunny ears!!!!"

Then again, his query could wait until tomorrow. If Rukia remembers, he is in no doubt he'll get his ass kicked, but he is not gonna let this go by. He won't let Rukia survive through the infamy that she caused herself, but he may well consider in relation to that after he puts drunken Rukia to siesta, if only she would let go of him. Tough luck.

* * *

**Charming.Murderess blabs:** Well, i'm writing this new story titled 'Law of Attraction 101' so this is probably my last one-shot for a long time considering my parents are coming here after christmas, and that brings bad news for my virtual life because then my time online will be obscured, big time. Now will u be so kind and leave me a review? where's ur christmas spirit?

and tnx to my beta Amerie-san! she was so tired from her trip but she still edited my sloppy works. T.T

man, that girl has incredible patience for me.. lol


End file.
